Moms haveย a lotย on their to-do list. Adding โmanage stressโ sort of defeats the purpose, right? But there is good news: stress reliefโthe kind that changes how you liveโreally doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. As clinical psychologist andย When Life Happens author Dr. Rachel Goldman shared on MomCast with host Demetra Ganias, sometimes it all starts with one tiny shift in the way we think. โThe growth mindset is: I donโt know what itโs going to look like, but Iโm doing my best,โ says Dr. Goldman.
From quieting negative self-talk to embracing body acceptance to reaching those long-term goals, here are seven mindset shifts that can help you feel a little lighter this season and heading into Fall. Read our excerpt below and listen to the entire interview by downloading MomCast today.
- Small Tweaks Beat All-Or-Nothing Changes
We often think wellness has to be all-or-nothing. Dr. Goldman says that mindset can get us stuck. Instead, start by asking yourself a much simpler question:ย โWhatโs one tiny little tweak I can make today?โ
- Your Thoughts Arenโt Facts
Weโve all experienced negative thoughts. When we have an unhelpful thought, we have two choices. โWe can identify itโs unhelpful and then challenge it and tweak it, make it a little more balanced, neutral, a little more positive. Or we could just be like, โthatโs not a helpful thought,โ and let it pass,โ says Dr. Goldman.
- You Are Not Your Thoughts
Negative self-talk can feel loud and overwhelming, especially on top of the mental load of parenting, work, and everyday life.ย One visualization strategy Dr. Goldman suggests to free yourself from these inevitable thoughts is to imagine yourself observing them instead of letting them consume you. She says: โYou can imagine youโre watching yourself on TV and like youโre having the thoughts, but youโre distancing yourself from the thought. You are not the thought.โ
She also encourages tuning out unnecessary sources of pressure and comparison, which she calls โnoise.โ
- Avoid Saying โShouldโย
According to Dr. Goldman, one of the most damaging words in our vocabulary isย should.ย She says: โIโm like, who says you should? Doย youย want toโฆ?โ Dr. Goldman suggests transforming โshouldโ into โchoose.โย Instead of โI should go to the gym,โย try โIย wantย to go to the gym,โ or โIย chooseย to go to the gymโ
- Body Positivity Isnโt the Only Option
Believe it or not, body positivity isn’t always the answer. While it has helped challenge unrealistic beauty standards, Dr. Goldman says it sometimes promotes toxic positivity, creating another expectation that you must love your body at every second of every day.ย โI think itโs actually setting people up for failure and disappointment in a similar way that toxic positivity does,โ says Dr. Goldman. Instead, she encourages body acceptance: โThe idea that I accept my body for where it is, and for what it is.โ
- Focus on Function, Not Appearanceย
Body neutrality can take this one step further. Instead of focusing on appearance, appreciate your body’s function. โI love my arms for being able to hug my children. I love my legs for being able to walk my son to and from school or to go out on my run,โ she says.
- Remember: Bodies Are Supposed to Change
Even if weโre chasing goals for the summer, itโs important to recognize that our bodies are constantly changingโand thatโs perfectly fine. The first step is accepting what you canโt control. โWeโre not supposed to look like what we looked like in middle school or high school. Our bodies have changed as we go through different phases of life,โ says Dr. Goldman. โThe first part is acceptance. I know I’m getting older; I know my hormones are shifting.โ Then, decide what youย canย control, whether thatโs moving your body differently, prioritizing health in a new way, or simply offering yourself more grace.
One Last Question: Why?
Whether youโre changing your workout routine, trying a new skincare treatment, or considering a new cosmetic procedure, Dr. Goldman encourages asking yourself one simple question:ย Why? Itโs easier to feel confident in our decisions when they are grounded in our own valuesโnot outside pressure. And remember, โsomeone is always watching.โ Especially as parents, itโs important to model healthy decision-making, self-love, and body acceptance to empower our kids.
